Flaws + Vanity

Flaws and vanity.

It’s far too easy to get hung up on the parts of us we perceive as flawed. Our ego kicks in. We become vain.

But are our flaws really flaws?

And are they really as massive as they feel inside of us– when we look in the mirror, when we see those flaws reflected back to us in another person, when we compare ourselves to tiny filtered and photoshopped squares?

I bet most people hardly notice. So why do we care so much? Why do we waste energy fretting, hiding, and minimizing our flaws?

I have always hated my feet. I have big feet (thanks mom and dad), and from all my endurance activities, they are just ugly. Really, I can overlook the ugliness since it was “earned” through a lot of tough miles and pushing personal boundaries. The thing that always gets me is the size. I’ve always wanted cute tiny girl feet. I’ve always wanted to walk into a store and have no problem finding cute shoes that fit well. Instead it’s a stressful process that I’m never fully satisfied with.

I have a lot of problems with my feet. Probably from years of shoving them into shoes that were a tad snug because I didn’t want to wear a bigger size. Hiking sandals were the answer to my problems, but with the inevitable snow we’re going to face in a few weeks on the Colorado Trail and possibly needing to clip spikes onto my shoes, I’ve ordered SIX different pairs of trail shoes from Amazon over the last week. Various brands, sizes, and genders.

This is where it hurts– I’ve settled on a men’s pair of trail shoes, in a wide, in a size bigger than I care to admit. And they’re ugly. But they fit comfortably, and so far, they’re my best option for protecting my feet on the long journey.

I’m sure this is a lesson for me on ego, vanity, humility.

The shoes don’t matter.
The size of my feet don’t matter.

What matters is the challenges I will face and the ensuing growth I will experience on the trail.

Every day I’m learning to breathe, let go, be flexible.

Sometimes challenges will come in the form of snow and sometimes they will come through your ego. The question is, what will you do when those challenges arise?

🤍 amanda maureen

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