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amanda maureen

learning to breathe, let go, and fear less

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Month: February 2019

Be Love Every Day

February 14, 2019November 16, 2019Leave a comment

Although I definitely won't turn down any chocolate that's gifted to me-- I do think Valentine's Day is a made up commercialized holiday. Love should not be reserved for a single day of the year. Be love every single day. Embody it. Show love to others in all you do. Show love to yourself in … Continue reading Be Love Every Day

I Am My Worst Habit

February 5, 2019Leave a comment

What habits are preventing you from reaching your goals? I tend to be the main habit standing in my own way. Stressing over not being able to do it all or when things aren't done up to my standard. Holding on too tightly. Worrying about things that don't matter. You know-- the standard high strung, … Continue reading I Am My Worst Habit

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Instagram

So many beautiful photos from @kitkat5271 and @wallzy41 wedding-- but this one reallly sums things up 😂😂 Love you Kat! 😘 📷: @emilylaura_photography
Nick has been asking me to share this picture from the @spirit_trips MuleSkinner 50-miler. I kept telling him no because I'm intermittent fasting from social media. But here I am. Doing it anyway. Why did I change my mind? I can't find the people like me. Maybe there's someone out there frustrated AF that they can't find the people like them-- and what if.. maybe, just maybe, I'm that person. I've been spending a lot of time truly questioning my motives behind posting to social media. I go from one extreme to the next. Whether my motives are pure or not, I'm not going to find my people if I keep quiet. So I guess you could say I'm being selfish by posting. I have a big thing I want to do in 2021. And to get there, I have a few big things I need to do successfully over the next year. The things are going to be hard. Really hard. And they are going to push me to my perceived limits. Again. I have this really strong and vivid image of myself doing these things-- which I find exciting because visualization of success is key in actually manifesting that success. I also have this annoying partner named type 1 diabetes tagging along on the journey. Some days she makes things harder than they need to be and it sucks. I'm not quite ready to share the things yet. That makes it real and a little scary. I will eventually spill the beans. In the meantime, I'm recommitting to detailed tracking, practicing patience, and extending grace in diabetes management; being my best self; and spreading my truth (even when it's not pretty) ✌️🤍
Little by little fear has less of a hold on me. The things I share are deep, but they are safe. It's a comfortable level of vulnerability. I've been practicing daily meditation. Yesterday I did a guided meditation where you are led down a darkening path. You pass through several gates, and at each you must give something up to continue. At the end you are laid bare before your shadow self. As you journey back up the path you are centered and complete-- embracing all aspects of yourself. A tad scary and raw-- below I'm sharing the highlights of my post-meditation journaling. I give up my fear. I accept my inner light. I will radiate that sparkly light and equally embrace my beautiful shadow. I give up my expectations. I accept my inner wisdom. I will look inside for the answers, for they all reside within. I give up my pride. I accept my ability to speak my truth. I will lay down my image and be my true authentic self. I give up my guilt. I accept that I am worthy. I will love others by first loving myself. I will let others love me without expectation. I give up my weakness. I honor my boundaries. I accept my personal power and will weild it with compassion. I give up my recklessness. I accept that I can't do it all. I will treat my mind, body, heart, and soul like a temple. I give up my mask. I accept the wild stirring in my heart and soul. I will not blend in. I will not play small. I will not stay inside the lines. I will not be good and follow the rules just for the sake of fitting in. 📷 from #ct2019
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