GC2018 | My “Hold My Beer, Watch This” Moment

Photo: @evancharlton

Well, look at that smile.

That huge smile is because I just passed the crux of Bedrock rapid– making it down the right-hand side when the full force of the Colorado River wants to sabotage you into going left.

I got my comeback. My “hold my beer, watch this” moment. But most importantly, I proved to myself that I am stronger than my fear.

This photo makes me giggle a bit. I had my foot up on the bread box for leverage. You know– because of the whole small girl, big boat, raging river thing.

River journal excerpt Day 14:

I didn’t particularly like the river between Fossil and Specter rapids. It feels angry. Not big raging river enormous rapids angry. Instead it’s full of boils and strong eddies. Swirling water that so quickly snatches your boat, spins you around, and laughs while you push and pull with all your strength to escape. The ease at which the boils and hydraulics can surf a fully loaded 18 ft oar boat is incredible. Talk about respect for the power of the river.

As you approach Bedrock you can hear the roar of the rapid well before you can see it. Nick and I were having a good conversation as we approached the scout so I wasn’t even giving the rapid a whole lot of thought.

I didn’t really have much going through my head as I scouted. I watched a few boats go through and everyone made it look easy– just line the butt of the boat to the rocks along shore and pull, pull, pull.

Nick got a tad worried we weren’t going to make it so he grabbed the oars and gave a few good pushes before giving them back to me. We easily skated by on the right side of the rock!

The whole thing happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to think. I didn’t have any profound thoughts or feelings while rowing Bedrock– but I also didn’t have any fear. That itself feels pretty profound.

Is the fear gone or has it been funneled into something bigger? I’d like to think it’s gone, but maybe instead it’s all being funneled into proving to myself that fear does not control me. If that’s the case, it sure sounds like a win to me.

🤍 amanda maureen

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